Do we say thanks enough to the people we love?

[MikeWaters]

I'm guilty of this sometimes.

My wife is a wonderful person. And even more importantly, she is a wonderful cook.

[danimal]

I can second that on her cooking!

Is that Murphy on your avatar? He was my hero for a long time when i was a little guy. I remember copying his routine while he was in the batter's box in baseball. I usually struck out though. If it's not him, ignore my ramble!

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I'm guilty of this sometimes.

My wife is a wonderful person. And even more importantly, she is a wonderful cook.

Your wife IS a wonderful but I lol'ed when you stated "more importantly, she is a wonderful cook."

I wonder how you deluded her into marrying you but then again, you might have some sort of magic potion which you've failed to disclose.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by danimal

Is that Murphy on your avatar? He was my hero for a long time when i was a little guy. I remember copying his routine while he was in the batter's box in baseball. I usually struck out though. If it's not him, ignore my ramble!

I have been trying to ignore this post. But I can't.

When someone is your hero, you usually know what they looked like.

This is in the early running for "Worst Post of 2010 on CG".

[wuapinmon]

Dale Murphy is also my hero. I'm from Atlanta, and even before I joined the Church, he was my hero. When I was in high school, he was my grandma's home teacher, which was pretty neat.

As far as telling the people that we love, "thanks," I had surgery on Monday, and because of my size, I was at a greater risk of complications from anesthesia. My father died of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in Oct. 2007, and my 95-year-old grandpa died five months later. Death has been all around me lately, so just in case I didn't make it, I wrote this for my kids and my wife. You don't know me, but maybe this will inspire someone to do the same for their loved ones, without facing down the specter of death sniffing about for you.

Surgery Tomorrow

So, tomorrow I'm having my gallbladder removed, ending a 16-month span of pain and misery that has become my life. The pain is incessant now, and I know that I cannot continue you on much longer living with this pain without resorting to taking narcotics, in heavy doses, every day. It has to come out.

My gallbladder quit working normally when I began the South Beach Diet and lost about 25 pounds in a month. Since the pain started, I've been unable to diet normally, since many healthy foods' roughage have the effect of making it hurt. I've also been very unwise, turning to food as a means of dealing with the stress of pain.

My weight also puts me at a statistically significantly higher morbidity risk for surgery with general anesthesia. So, I'm sitting here looking out my window in my home office at an azure sky thinking that I could die tomorrow.

While that event is unlikely, there are a host of potential complications that come from peritoneal surgery. The surgery is supposed to happen laparoscopically, which is complicated by the sub-cutaneous fat layer I've added, one mouthful at a time, to my rotund frame. The risk of pulmonary embolism is there. The surgeon will have to make larger incisions on me, putting me at a higher risk of developing hernias in the abdominal wall.

So, even though I've received a Church blessing, and will get another one tonight, confirming that after my doctors have helped me that the Lord will heal me, I still have to plan for the worst. So, just in case, por si acaso, I'm posting this for everyone.

I want to be cremated, with my ashes scattered in places that mean something to anyone who wants to scatter some. I'd like for everyone to have a big bonfire the night of the funeral and sit around and tell stories and whoppers about me. If I had the money, I'd start a study abroad scholarship at Coker College for study Spanish majors/minors to study in Spanish-speaking countries.

Mickelle, you are the love of my life and my best friend. I have no secrets from you; you know everything. I am worthy of a temple recommend, and even though my testimony isn't rocksteady, I do have faith in what I believe. I have doubted, every day, since I joined the Church, but I do have faith. It's been a constant struggle between belief and doubt, but at the end of the day, I do believe. I want you to remarry and be happy. Move back to Utah and be close to your family. Make sure the kids go to college and grad school. Be sure to scatter my ashes somewhere that means something to you. I want you to inherit all my belongings, but be sure that Marley gets the 1953 color Bowman Pee Wee Reese card.

To all my children, the suggestions about life that I make to each of you should be applied to all of you.

Marley, you are my first-born and the child that I will always know best because we've had longer to get to know each other. You are a very caring person and very tender with little kids. I hope that you'll go to college to become a professional of some kind. I could see you be an event coordinator or a small business owner. Your creativity and love of friends is an asset. Your hair is your crown of glory, always take care of it and use it to make yourself attractive and lovely. I love you very much, and I hope you'll get married some day to a man loves you and sees you as his equal. Never be afraid to speak up for people who are being bullied, and always rely on your intellect and wits and intuition. You are able to read people and if someone gives you a bad feeling, trust that. I've seen you identify bad people (ask mommy about the bad man who caused problems at Gove Allen's house) merely by your sense of judgment about people. Trust it. You might make an excellent police detective. I'd love for you to go to medical or dental school, but I understand if you choose a different route. Do what makes you happy as long as you don't get rich by hurting other people. Chose that profession that makes you happy, and always remember that you don't need a man to be successful. Don't not get an education if you get married young. Finish school before you have kids. If mommy hadn't finished school, finding a job after I died would be very difficult. Because of her education, she can find a good-paying job to take care of you kids. Do not rely on men for your well-being and sense of self either. If you think you look beautiful, you are. Health is beauty, no superficial looks. Youth will leave you one day, but health and self-esteem are there forever if you cultivate them. Also, don't be afraid to take risks on love. Even though a broken heart hurts worse than any other emotion (save losing a loved one), it's better to love and lose love than to have never tried it. I love you, Marley X.

Jack, my little man. You are the heir to a great name and tradition of honest men. See that you always tell the truth and never cheat, lie, or steal. I made some minor, but serious, mistakes when I was a young man that I shouldn't have if I'd listened to my father's wisdom about honesty. Always do what is right, even if it costs you. Your integrity has no price. Also, be nice to women. They are your equal; no should never try and lord over someone in a relationship just because you're physically stronger. When it comes to love, never use someone else for your own pleasure. Intimacy has a place in life, and I caution you to reserve intimacy for the one you love. I only ever kissed your mom--no other woman, and while I don't think that's the only way to go about dating, I always knew that your mom's kisses were the sweetest ones I ever had. Go to school. Don't be afraid of schoolwork. We Williamses are a smart bunch, but we're not the smartest people around--there's always someone smarter than you; I realized this when I met my friend Mike Wilson Reginato--he's the smartest man I've ever met. You don't have to be the smartest person in the room. Beware of pride about your intelligence. People who are not intelligent are not to blame for their stupidity, so you should never mock someone for being stupid. Rather, reserve harsh criticism for people who remain ignorant willfully or do stupid things when they know better. Seek to educate everyone around you. I'm a natural teacher, and I think you might be one too. If so, don't seek the riches of the world for riches' sake. Being a teacher, if you have the gift, is a noble thing to do. But, always remember that your primary purpose in your career is to make yourself happy. Don't take jobs that make you miserable unless they are a stepping stone in your education. Our family has issues with self-control. Please try and avoid alcohol and harmful drugs. If you start in with them, you'll find that your nature will make it difficult to give them up. Watch out for bad food too. I've eaten myself into a prison of a body because I lack will power, and my metabolism couldn't burn off my excessive excesses. If someone helps you, always thank them, and be sure to help others when you're older and have the resources to help out. Always remember that I love you, and that when you marry and have children some day, the love you feel for them will be the kind of love I have for you. You're my only son, and I love you dearly.

Calliope, my baby with the awesome name. Your middle name is Hispanic and represents a proud heritage of a people that I love like my own (Marisol is an abbreviation of María de la Soledad--every Marisol I've ever met has been a total babe). Please, all of my children, cultivate your connection with Hispanic culture. There is much there that is wonderful and good. I have tried to raise you as Southerners and as Hispanics. Please keep this tradition alive in your hearts. Our Hispanic friends are genuine and sincere and as selfless as anyone you'll ever meet. Embrace this. Never be ashamed of the South. While there is much here that needs fixing, the South is your home and we have always tried to focus on the positives of family and friends being foremost in our sense of culture and society. Never ever assume things about someone because of their race or upbringing though. Give everyone a chance and be an optimist about people unless your gut tells you otherwise. You may have racist thoughts from time to time....listen to your mind in these moments and recognize that an individual's actions are what bother you, not something intrinsic about a person because of their skin pigmentation. Do not laugh along with other people if they make crude jokes. As far as religion goes, do not make the mistake of believing that only people who are Mormon are moral and righteous. Do not judge the world in black and white. The world is a big beautiful place with billions of different ways of seeing things; see it in color. Do not dismiss the wisdom found in the teachings of other religions. The majority of Muslims are decent, hard-working, moral people. If I die, you most likely won't remember me. Know that I love you very much, my little baby girl, and that you always made me smile and laugh, and that I had a blast playing with you. You have this way of lowering your eyebrows, I call it "fruncing" them, that makes my heart melt. I love you very much, and I hope that you grow up into a happy person who calls her mom her best friend the way your older sister does.

Mom, I love you, you know it. I'm really glad that you're my mom, and I can't bring myself to write something long to you right now. You know I love you, and if there is an afterlife (I believe there is), then I'll see you sooner than the rest :P.

Susanna, my kid sister. I thought about writing my testimony of the Gospel out to you, and then I thought about making a "pearls before the swine" joke, but really, I just want to say that I love you, and that I want you to be happy. It seems like that Eric guy is a good dude, and if he makes you happy, make him happy. Go get your PhD. Do it. It's worth it. I love you, and I hope we'll meet again.

Papa, I love you, and I'll see you in about 30 years? If you go back to practicing law when you get your second wind, try family law this time. I bet your wisdom could come in handy. I'm proud to carry your name.

Louis, my brother, thank you for being there when my dad died. You really could've been my uncle if things had gone differently, though I'm sure that you're happy with your life right now. You've got an awesome wife, and really cool kids who should be your pride and joy (they are, I know). While we don't see alike on almost anything politically, I know you and know that you are a good man, and it's okay to differ on opinion. I hope that you'll encourage your kids to get a rigorous liberal arts degree in college, so that their beliefs are challenged. That way, when they come back to them, they'll know better why they believe what they believe and how to understand what the other side feels/sees. I hope you'll watch out for my mom and sister and my wife and kids. Be there for them.

Tim, my best friend (besides my wife), I leave you my 1988 Atlanta Braves team ball (give it back to my son in your will). It's because of you that I met my wife and have all my kids. Thanks for telling me to talk to her that one day in August 1997. I'm glad we were roommates, and I totally forgive you for wanting to hit me with that frying pan you picked up to "move." I love you man, I hope she makes your life complete. I know that my absence won't bother you, but try and keep it together when you think about me. Also, be there for my kids as a counselor/mentor/advisor. If they do something stupid, please chew them out/bail them out. If they do something grand, please tell them what you think I would've said. You can have the rights to all our creative ideas as long as you give Mickelle my share of whatever we make on them (I trust you), and our ideas probably have zero monetary value, but, you never know. Be happy.

[MikeWaters]

I found this note crumpled up in the trash.

Dear wuapinmon family,

As you know I am going in for surgery tomorrow, and I might not make it. So I felt compelled to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you. I have been working very hard recently, and I hope you all would continue my work. I am level 56 and my PSN login is "wuapinmon" and my password is, you guessed it, "wuapinmon." I like the regular classes with assault rifles, nothing fancy, just shoot em up. I had always hoped to make level 70, so it would bring a smile to my face in heaven if you could, at your leisure, take me there. You know those times that you think the crackhead knifer is going to kill you, but you just manage to get the last round into him and he dies? Maybe it's because of a little nudge from me in heaven <wink, wink!>.

Kidding aside, there are more serious things I need to bring to your attention at this grave moment. I feel like my work on this earth has just begun, and is not finished. That is, I post on several message boards, cougarguard, and the copycat cougarguard board. My login is "wuapinmon", and yes, you guessed it, my password is "wuapinmon." I like to keep it light, nothing too serious or heavy. A little levity goes along way. If you find yourself annoying people, but not getting how that it is possible, well, that is me! You have nailed it! Such good times.

Love and kisses,
wuapinmon

[MikeWaters]

From a person who is dear to a person dear to me:

http://thejuanski.blogspot.com/2009/...th-cancer.html

[wuapinmon]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I found this note crumpled up in the trash.

You'd think that personal attacks would be beneath a decent father. I revealed much about myself, and I can see that you want no part of me being here. So, farewell, Mike Waters.

[MikeWaters]

My social satire applies to many of us, certainly myself. There is a gap between who we are and who we think we are, and who we wish we were. As I was reading wuapinmon's statement, it occurred to me, wasn't he just saying the other day that because of his surgery he had a ton of time to play MW2? I thought it was humorous the contrast between playing MW2 a ton, and seriously considering your death on the other. Not that such actions would be totally beyond my own behavior.

I have close friends whose brother is dying. He has liver cancer as the result of chronic hepatitis he received at birth from his mother. He should have received screening every 6 months, but he didn't know about that need. The tragedy of it is that his father and brother are both physicians, and neither of them knew either. In fact, I didn't know of those screening recommendations. Another tragedy is that he has three young children. So now he has a huge inoperable tumor, that has no good treatment except surgery. He is dying. My friends complain that he is living his life like he has always lived it. He watches a ton of TV in his room, doesn't spend much time with the kids. Wife takes the kid to swim practice every evening, he doesn't attend. They don't talk about his illness. It's like nothing is going on. If you've always lived a certain way, how do you suddenly change? "Hey kids, I'm dying, let's go to the zoo." If there are changes one would make in your life, why not live that way even if you are not dying? If I had 6 months left (which may be the case, who knows), how should I live? Should I quit my job? Would I stop playing video games from time to time? Would I read more books? Less? More time with the kids? I don't know.

What is a good life? And if one doesn't have it, why not?

Wuapinmon wears his heart on his sleeve, because let's face it, the average person would not post such a document on a message board. Making a point of humor is risky business. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings wuapinmon, but in the moment, it felt like the more effective way of making the points I have summarized in this post. Fare thee well in your journey, adieu!