Why is it sometimes ok for dads to be gone so much?

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Personally, maybe people should just say no to callings.

I know of cases where people were passed over for callings because they were perceived as not having any time.

When I was called to be scoutmaster, I was a resident physican, with a demanding moonlighting schedule, working on a master's degree, with a small child at home and one on the way.

Maybe I should have said no. I certainly didn't spend a lot of time with my family at that point.

I have never said no to a calling but I am 99% sure I would turn down scout master.

[RedHeadGal]

Um, he's been bishop for 6 years. But I'm talking about the concept of being grateful for a dad like that more than I'm talking about this individual.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

Um, he's been bishop for 6 years. But I'm talking about the concept of being grateful for a dad like that more than I'm talking about this individual.

Maybe he's grateful that his dad works hard, and takes on responsibilities to serve. All good things in moderation.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Have you read "Proclamation on the Family"?

It's ingrained in the culture.

People who are underemployed are sneered at, while those who work incredible hours are lionized.

You dont lionize people who work long hours or earn high salaries.

I cant remember a recent talk wherein people who work incredible hours were lionized.

[creekster]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

Um, he's been bishop for 6 years. But I'm talking about the concept of being grateful for a dad like that more than I'm talking about this individual.

You should always be grateful for a parent that tries to be a good one. WHy wouldn't you teach a child to be grateful? Would you teach them to despise th eold man for being at church on Sunday and at work M-F? Maybe they are all happy with it.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Have you read "Proclamation on the Family"?

It's ingrained in the culture.

People who are underemployed are sneered at, while those who work incredible hours are lionized.

If dads didn't spend so much time at work, how could they find the time to surf the Internet and post on CougarGuard and other important stuff.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

Um, he's been bishop for 6 years. But I'm talking about the concept of being grateful for a dad like that more than I'm talking about this individual.

I don't know all the individual circumstances, but here is one thought. I have to work long hours at times. Not all the time, but the nature of my business is that work can take over every hour for several days at a time. Sometimes I have to work weekends. Now I am certain that I could find a less demanding employer or hang my own shingle out and have more time at home.

If I did that, I would make less money and my wife would have to work. Nothing wrong with that if that is what you have to do, but we consider it well worth the time sacrifice on my part, and frankly the financial hardship it has been at times, to have her at home. If I am a guy working those hours, sacrificing time with my children so that I know my wife can be with them full time, then maybe I am entitled to have my children be taught to appreciate it.

On the other hand, I have seen many guys who more or less hide out at work and in callings. I believe it is this very thing, which was much more common culturally in my grandparents generation, which led the church to start doing family home evening. I really believe that this program was designed as much as anything to force dads to spend time with their kids.

I think it really just depends on circumstance. I would not sacrifice time with my kids beyond what I do now and I am not in the neighborhood of what you are describing with this bishop. I don't believe I would accept that calling with the work schedule he has, but I do think these things are tough to judge. All a kid knows is that dad isn't there. I don't think it is inappropriate for his folks to focus him on what is positive about what dad is doing. Should they teach him to be bitter and resentful?

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

I told you the kind of hours he works. He leaves before the kids get up and gets home after they are asleep(and doesn't always even go home) 6 days a week (and on the 7th, of course, is at church). The fact that it's a gov job means he can't make much $$. It's not possible in a gov job, though he has a prestigious position.

Cooperative parenting is where both parents care for and nurture their children. This concept is NOT embraced by the LDS culture at large and only slightly poked at by the larger society.

I don't agree. I guess government job not equalling an attractive salary is relative to what you think pays well means. My dad makes an attractive salary into 6 figures as a federal employee.

I think cooperative parenting is embraced by the LDS culture. In fact I would argue that is the design that any church leader professes. Whether or not it is implemented is another thing. And whether or not work and callings impede that implementation is subjective as well. I think there are some irrespective of these obstacles that are able to do this.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by Surfah

I don't agree. I guess government job not equalling an attractive salary is relative to what you think pays well means. My dad makes an attractive salary into 6 figures as a federal employee.

I think cooperative parenting is embraced by the LDS culture. In fact I would argue that is the design that any church leader professes. Whether or not it is implemented is another thing. And whether or not work and callings impede that implementation is subjective as well. I think there are some irrespective of these obstacles that are able to do this.

I think the quasi-ban on men teaching primary says something about how the church views cooperative parenting.

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I think the quasi-ban on men teaching primary says something about how the church views cooperative parenting.

I tend to think it says something about our litigous society more than parenting techniques.