Why is it sometimes ok for dads to be gone so much?

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by CardiacCoug

Also, having one parent who works 60-70 hours per week with the other parent home all of the time is better than having both parents work 40+ hours per week with a nanny raising the kids. That's not a particularly good argument, I know, but those are my thoughts.

What is the evidence for this?

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

What is the evidence for this?

It's weak on evidence, it's also a gross generalization. But Cardiac likes those kinds of statements, I guess.

[CardiacCoug]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

What is the evidence for this?

No evidence. Just my opinion based on having more total parent-hours spent with the kids. I think kids definitely benefit from having both parents around as much as possible. They also benefit from having plenty of money. Every family has to make their own decision about how to balance these two often conflicting goals.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by CardiacCoug

No evidence. Just my opinion based on having more total parent-hours spent with the kids. I think kids definitely benefit from having both parents around as much as possible. They also benefit from having plenty of money. Every family has to make their own decision about how to balance these two often conflicting goals.

Aside from your "total parental hours" point, you need to ask yourself this question, "How important do I want to be in my kids' life?" Ask yourself that for yourself as well as for them. Forget mom for a minute. Relying on mom to pick up the slack shows that dad is missing a fundamental issue related to his own and his childrens' souls that doesn't necessarily have anythng to do with mom. Ask the question for yourself, and for your kids, factoring mom out of the equation just for clarity of analysis.

[marsupial]

I for one am grateful for my husband's government job that gets him home at 5 p.m. every night. Really, I couldn't do this kid raising thing if he worked insane hours or spent a lot of time traveling. He is a very involved dad and our kids are better off because of it.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by marsupial

I for one am grateful for my husband's government job that gets him home at 5 p.m. every night. Really, I couldn't do this kid raising thing if he worked insane hours or spent a lot of time traveling. He is a very involved dad and our kids are better off because of it.

yeah, if you put Farrah and Danimal together you would have some kick-a parents!

[CardiacCoug]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

Aside from your "total parental hours" point, you need to ask yourself this question, "How important do I want to be in my kids' life?" Ask yourself that for yourself as well as for them. Forget mom for a minute. Relying on mom to pick up the slack shows that dad is missing a fundamental issue related to his own and his childrens' souls that doesn't necessarily have anythng to do with mom. Ask the question for yourself, and for your kids, factoring mom out of the equation just for clarity of analysis.

Points taken. The funny thing about my family is that I am a complete homebody and I'm pretty sure I would love to be a stay-at-home dad. My wife is the exact opposite and would probably be happier working outside of the home. She had a pretty tough time adjusting to staying home full-time after we had our third child (she worked part-time until then).

I don't have too much control over my work schedule right now. I'm not sure I buy the "fundamental issue related to the soul" stuff, but I agree that both parents need to spend as much time as is economically feasible with their kids.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

yeah, if you put Farrah and Danimal together you would have some kick-a parents!

Farrah pointed out that this post could be construed as derogatory to Marsupial's mothering skills. Which is what intended.

Not!

That is, I did not mean to derog Marsupial's parenting skills.

[FMCoug]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

Cooperative parenting is where both parents care for and nurture their children. This concept is NOT embraced by the LDS culture at large and only slightly poked at by the larger society.

You must belong to a different church than I do.

[minn_stat]

I actually tend to agree with Seattle Ute on this one.

I recently took a new position in a new company. I was quite happy in my old position, but a former consultant who worked for me recommended that they contact me about the job, so I thought I could at least listen. In the end, I took the new job. It was only effectively about a 10% raise, but what pulled us in was 1) a shorter commute, and 2) better vacation benefits. In short, I'll be able to spend more time with my family. Our new home that we'll move into next month is only 3 miles from my work, so I'll spend 10 minutes a day commuting (or 30 minutes riding my bike), instead of the 2 hours I spent commuting to my old job. That adds up to about an extra 9 hours a week to be with my family (or post on Cougarguard).