Traditional Roles of Men and Women

[Taq Man]

All this talk of Women's duties etc. from the Beck talk has been interesting for me.

I have been married for almost 11 years. My wife has never worked. We have kids ranging from 8 to 3 and my wife has been vocally miserable with her expected duty of "maid and cook" She did not clean the house to the degree that I wanted, and it was a source of contention for years.

About a year ago I told her that I was no longer placing any expectation on her for cleaning the house. I instead took on the role. I come home from work and clean the kitchen, do the dishes, hit the laundry, pick up etc. My wife basked in her new found freedom. At first I did the bulk of the work, but in time she started to clean and keep things better throughout the day so that I wouldn't have so much to do when I got home.

Long story short, once the expectation was removed I found that my wife was more than willing to clean as long as she felt that I too was willing.

The traditional roles of men and woman don't really work as well in modern western society.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by Taq Man

All this talk of Women's duties etc. from the Beck talk has been interesting for me.

I have been married for almost 11 years. My wife has never worked. We have kids ranging from 8 to 3 and my wife has been vocally miserable with her expected duty of "maid and cook" She did not clean the house to the degree that I wanted, and it was a source of contention for years.

About a year ago I told her that I was no longer placing any expectation on her for cleaning the house. I instead took on the role. I come home from work and clean the kitchen, do the dishes, hit the laundry, pick up etc. My wife basked in her new found freedom. At first I did the bulk of the work, but in time she started to clean and keep things better throughout the day so that I wouldn't have so much to do when I got home.

Long story short, once the expectation was removed I found that my wife was more than willing to clean as long as she felt that I too was willing.

The traditional roles of men and woman don't really work as well in modern western society.

Excellent manipulation tactic. Guilt trip her into doing what you want.

[Archaea]

Let's see, she doesn't generate income and doesn't wish to tend to the house. What the hell does she want to do, be a kept woman?

WTF.

[SteelBlue]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Let's see, she doesn't generate income and doesn't wish to tend to the house. What the hell does she want to do, be a kept woman?

WTF.

Did you miss the part about the kids?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by SteelBlue

Did you miss the part about the kids?

However, working women tend to children without abandoning the maintenance aspects. Men should contribute no doubt, but a non-working woman complaining about housework is beyond ridiculous. It seems working women are better managers of time and resources, to make a general, non-specific statement.

Junior high kids are more work than 3 to 8 year olds.

[SteelBlue]

Originally Posted by Archaea

However, working women tend to children without abandoning the maintenance aspects. Men should contribute no doubt, but a non-working woman complaining about housework is beyond ridiculous. It seems working women are better managers of time and resources, to make a general, non-specific statement.

Junior high kids are more work than 3 to 8 year olds.

That may be, but working women tend to children after business hours. SAHM's tend to children all day and if they are doing meaningful, nurturing activities it's equally as tiring as going to a job all day. I think it's fair that when dad gets home or when both mom and dad get home from work that they split the housework.

[Taq Man]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Excellent manipulation tactic. Guilt trip her into doing what you want.

It really wasn't like that. I did the work with a smile on my face. I felt better towards my wife too once I took responsibility. My intent was harmony not manipulation. My wife appreciated it and responded with kindness.

[Taq Man]

Originally Posted by Archaea

However, working women tend to children without abandoning the maintenance aspects. Men should contribute no doubt, but a non-working woman complaining about housework is beyond ridiculous. It seems working women are better managers of time and resources, to make a general, non-specific statement.

Junior high kids are more work than 3 to 8 year olds.

An argument I made countless times over the years. My wife just hates housework and it made her miserable to think it was all she had to look forward to each day.

[Indy Coug]

Let me take this rare moment and agree with Taq Man's approach. My wife is much happier when I attempt as best I can to take a team approach with household chores, food preparation and child rearing; as opposed to coming home from work and leaving everyone to their own devices.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by Taq Man

An argument I made countless times over the years. My wife just hates housework and it made her miserable to think it was all she had to look forward to each day.

Well, without being too crass, that is her perspective. Many women with children formulate other things to do, and sometimes it's okay for the housework NOT TO BE DONE.

If a load of laundry waits until tomorrow, the world will not end.