Prediction for Saturday - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

ute4ever · 03-01-2007, 11:35 PM

Whichever side of the fence you are on, this is some good humor.

http://www.utefans.net/message.php?i...#message435590

Here's how it goes down. You can take this one to the bank...

Saturday morning dawns bright and clear and TDS's former vice-assistant to the external co-head of the third division of the secretary's branch of the northwest quadrant of interim athletic department middle management and current AD, Tom Holmoe gleafully announces that the game is a sellout. However, later in the day they find they only brought in $22,699 at the gate. Somebody gipped them and didn't pay for their $1 ticket. They conclude it must have been a dishonest Ute fan.

The UU assistants reminded Giac at least 5 times on Friday to set his alarm for no later than noon on Saturday. But, at 12:30, only a wakeup call saves the day. "What? We have a game today too? But I just got done coaching the last one! It's Albany tonight, right? I think we should start Bogut for this one." Are the coach's waking words.

Down south, Dave Rose finishes applying his Rogaine when he hears over the radio that the football team got another commit. A 5'2" 110-pound linebacker out of West Carbon Middle School who had 29 solo tackes and 10 sacks for the 7th grade team last year. Plus, he's already started his scripture mastery memorization and Bronco believes he's just the kind of invested player the program needs.

At length, game time arrives and Giac suddenly realizes that Andrew Bogut didn't actually make the trip. Infuriated that his star center would be so irresponsible he begrudingly agrees to start some other tall Australian guy at his assistants suggestion.

The game gets underway and Utah wins the tip when Plaisted is momentarily distracted by a conversation Ainge and Balderson are having behind him. "No way Jimmy. I'm never gonna believe you baptized THAT many families on your mission." The TV announcers take the opportunity to inform everyone that Austin Ainge is actually the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge.

JB brings the ball down for Utah's first offensive possession and Giac screams at his players to quickly line up in a 2-3 zone defense. He is incredulous when Bryant instead throws the ball to Johns who finds that other Australian guy posted up deep in the paint. Giac screams at Neville to get in a better defensive position next time. Luke glances up confused, giving Austin Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, the chance to squeel in and knock the ball loose and start a fast break. "MOTION 3! Let's try to get Bryant open on a scre...what? you mean WE'RE the ones wearing red?!?" Shouts Giacoletti.

The half continues in much the same course, TDS opens up the game when Mike Rose, who is actually the nephew of BYU head coach Dave Rose, knocks down a pair of falling away 30-foot shots. Austin Ainge, who is the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, dribbles the ball off of his foot on the next two possessions leaving the door open for Utah to climb back into the game.

Giac sees that other tall Australian guy dunk over Plaisted on one possession, and quickly realizes that it's time to start running set plays to Chris Grant.

TDS leads by 5 at the half. At halftime a special ceremony is held to commemorate the two-month anniversary of the legendary Las Vegas Bowl victory.

The second half gets underway with Austin Ainge, who is the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, beating half-sleeping Drca on a drive down the baseline. Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, is momentarily stunned when he realizes he just beat someone off the dribble for the first time since 3rd grade. He recovers quickly enough to assist a basket by Keena Young.

On the other side of the court Johns and Bryant knock down consecutive threes to pull within one with 15:00 to go. "We may have to start fouling soon," thinks Coach Giac.

Mike Rose, the nephew of BYU head coach Dave Rose, airballs another 3-pointer on the opposite end, but the tall Australian guy picks up a questionable charge on the next possession. "I knew we should've started Bogut..." thinks Giac.

Jonathan Tavernari, who is actually from Brazil, hits a pair of 30-foot shots of his own to extend TDS's lead again, and returned missionary Lee Cummard leads a fast break layup. Giacolleti misses it because he's checking a voicemail message from his wife.

Later the second half, with TDS pulling ahead, Shaun Green finds Neville slipping free thanks to Ricky Johns' clearing cut through the key, Giac quickly calls timeout as Neville gets the ball, wanting to make sure they set up the layup better.

In in the closing seconds, the student section launches into its traditional rendition of popcorn popping, while the KBYU section gets an early start for the parking lot. It's nearly 7:30, and choir practice is early the next morning.

The game ends with Austin Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, dribbling out the clock for a 10-point win. The Utes took advantage of a Giacoletti bathroom break to make a run and close to within single digits. But, it wasn't enough

Ray takes off his red jacket and sighs...good, practice guys. Lunch time!

Commissioner Craig Thompson presents TDS with its MWC championship trophy after the game. Dave Rose, who actually has a nephew on the team, accepts the trophy and takes the opportunity to bear his testimony.

In the post-game interview, Giac looks confused when he's asked about the trip to Las Vegas on Thursday. "Las Vegas? Is it spring break already?"

In Provo, the celebration of UNO and red punch runs especially long, almost to 11:00 before complaints of too much noise end the card games. Besides, all the students will have a late night with ward 9 PM prayer tomorrow.

The night ends with Ray thanking Chris Hill for calling to congratulate him that night. "You bet Dr. Hill. I'll be in your office first thing Friday morning. Should we do lunch?"

BigFatMeanie · 03-01-2007, 11:50 PM

I thought he did a pretty good job of it; however, it would have been better if he had mentioned tunnel singing.

il Padrino Ute · 03-02-2007, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

I thought he did a pretty good job of it; however, it would have been better if he had mentioned tunnel singing.

I've heard that the BYU Tunnel Singers are the halftime entertainment.

BigFatMeanie · 03-02-2007, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute

I've heard that the BYU Tunnel Singers are the halftime entertainment.

I generally dislike all forms of Mormon sappiness; however, even the BYU Tunnel Singers would be preferable to "gay Cosmo dancing with Fat Cat".

I must confess that I did go "tunnel singing" once but ended up just throwing a football around on the grass with some other dude while waiting for whoever it was I went with to finish up so I could get out of there.

03-01-2007, 11:35 PM	#1
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	Prediction for Saturday Whichever side of the fence you are on, this is some good humor. http://www.utefans.net/message.php?i...#message435590 Here's how it goes down. You can take this one to the bank... Saturday morning dawns bright and clear and TDS's former vice-assistant to the external co-head of the third division of the secretary's branch of the northwest quadrant of interim athletic department middle management and current AD, Tom Holmoe gleafully announces that the game is a sellout. However, later in the day they find they only brought in $22,699 at the gate. Somebody gipped them and didn't pay for their $1 ticket. They conclude it must have been a dishonest Ute fan. The UU assistants reminded Giac at least 5 times on Friday to set his alarm for no later than noon on Saturday. But, at 12:30, only a wakeup call saves the day. "What? We have a game today too? But I just got done coaching the last one! It's Albany tonight, right? I think we should start Bogut for this one." Are the coach's waking words. Down south, Dave Rose finishes applying his Rogaine when he hears over the radio that the football team got another commit. A 5'2" 110-pound linebacker out of West Carbon Middle School who had 29 solo tackes and 10 sacks for the 7th grade team last year. Plus, he's already started his scripture mastery memorization and Bronco believes he's just the kind of invested player the program needs. At length, game time arrives and Giac suddenly realizes that Andrew Bogut didn't actually make the trip. Infuriated that his star center would be so irresponsible he begrudingly agrees to start some other tall Australian guy at his assistants suggestion. The game gets underway and Utah wins the tip when Plaisted is momentarily distracted by a conversation Ainge and Balderson are having behind him. "No way Jimmy. I'm never gonna believe you baptized THAT many families on your mission." The TV announcers take the opportunity to inform everyone that Austin Ainge is actually the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge. JB brings the ball down for Utah's first offensive possession and Giac screams at his players to quickly line up in a 2-3 zone defense. He is incredulous when Bryant instead throws the ball to Johns who finds that other Australian guy posted up deep in the paint. Giac screams at Neville to get in a better defensive position next time. Luke glances up confused, giving Austin Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, the chance to squeel in and knock the ball loose and start a fast break. "MOTION 3! Let's try to get Bryant open on a scre...what? you mean WE'RE the ones wearing red?!?" Shouts Giacoletti. The half continues in much the same course, TDS opens up the game when Mike Rose, who is actually the nephew of BYU head coach Dave Rose, knocks down a pair of falling away 30-foot shots. Austin Ainge, who is the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, dribbles the ball off of his foot on the next two possessions leaving the door open for Utah to climb back into the game. Giac sees that other tall Australian guy dunk over Plaisted on one possession, and quickly realizes that it's time to start running set plays to Chris Grant. TDS leads by 5 at the half. At halftime a special ceremony is held to commemorate the two-month anniversary of the legendary Las Vegas Bowl victory. The second half gets underway with Austin Ainge, who is the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, beating half-sleeping Drca on a drive down the baseline. Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, is momentarily stunned when he realizes he just beat someone off the dribble for the first time since 3rd grade. He recovers quickly enough to assist a basket by Keena Young. On the other side of the court Johns and Bryant knock down consecutive threes to pull within one with 15:00 to go. "We may have to start fouling soon," thinks Coach Giac. Mike Rose, the nephew of BYU head coach Dave Rose, airballs another 3-pointer on the opposite end, but the tall Australian guy picks up a questionable charge on the next possession. "I knew we should've started Bogut..." thinks Giac. Jonathan Tavernari, who is actually from Brazil, hits a pair of 30-foot shots of his own to extend TDS's lead again, and returned missionary Lee Cummard leads a fast break layup. Giacolleti misses it because he's checking a voicemail message from his wife. Later the second half, with TDS pulling ahead, Shaun Green finds Neville slipping free thanks to Ricky Johns' clearing cut through the key, Giac quickly calls timeout as Neville gets the ball, wanting to make sure they set up the layup better. In in the closing seconds, the student section launches into its traditional rendition of popcorn popping, while the KBYU section gets an early start for the parking lot. It's nearly 7:30, and choir practice is early the next morning. The game ends with Austin Ainge, the son of former NBA star Danny Ainge, dribbling out the clock for a 10-point win. The Utes took advantage of a Giacoletti bathroom break to make a run and close to within single digits. But, it wasn't enough Ray takes off his red jacket and sighs...good, practice guys. Lunch time! Commissioner Craig Thompson presents TDS with its MWC championship trophy after the game. Dave Rose, who actually has a nephew on the team, accepts the trophy and takes the opportunity to bear his testimony. In the post-game interview, Giac looks confused when he's asked about the trip to Las Vegas on Thursday. "Las Vegas? Is it spring break already?" In Provo, the celebration of UNO and red punch runs especially long, almost to 11:00 before complaints of too much noise end the card games. Besides, all the students will have a late night with ward 9 PM prayer tomorrow. The night ends with Ray thanking Chris Hill for calling to congratulate him that night. "You bet Dr. Hill. I'll be in your office first thing Friday morning. Should we do lunch?"

03-01-2007, 11:50 PM	#2
BigFatMeanie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: South Jordan Posts: 1,725	I thought he did a pretty good job of it; however, it would have been better if he had mentioned tunnel singing.