Should I instruct in etiquette at Summer Camp?

[MikeWaters]

We were eating dinner last night, and I noticed that one of our young scouts has pretty poor table manners.

Eating roast beef with gravy with his hands, licking his fingers, mopping up various items with other foods.

He is hispanic and poor. I doubt that he can ramp up to proper American manners. (in other words, I don't think he's letting loose just for summer camp).

So, should I just leave him be (he's young and it's cultural) or should I give him some friendly pointers?

I don't want to make him feel bad, but maybe no one else will bother to teach him.

[BarbaraGordon]

I'd try to approach it without singling him out. You don't want him or his family to feel targeted. Is there any way to instruct the whole group?

[RockyBalboa]

Basically at Scout Camp you're just begging the kid to do the exact opposite of what you're wanting him to do,,,not to mention being reviled by the other kids...and also opening the doors for the other kids to engage in a gross out competition.

In that kind of environment Kids will be kids and seeking to get them to be "mannerly" in that environment will invite just the opposite.

Now if he is eating dinner at your house....then that would be an appropriate time to show him or at a formal church dinner/activity held at the Church house.

[YOhio]

If you do teach an etiquette lesson at Scout Camp, please post your notes. It would be nice to know the order to pack up a 3-in-1 utensil, the proper shovel to use when removing a tinfoil dinner, as well as the polite way to roast marshmallow's and prepare s'mores.

[MikeWaters]

Here's the question in my mind: if I don't teach him, who will?

I'm happy to be apathetic and do nothing. But is that really in his best interest?

If he is going to end up digging ditches or laying tile, that's one thing, but if he aspires to working in air conditioning, it's another thing.

He's a good kid, but I will tell you that there A LOT of things that his parents cannot teach him. Not because they aren't good people. But because they don't know how America works.

Table manners in cases like this, is just the tip of the iceberg. There are families where earning a high school diploma is a jaw-dropping achievement.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Here's the question in my mind: if I don't teach him, who will?

I'm happy to be apathetic and do nothing. But is that really in his best interest?

If he is going to end up digging ditches or laying tile, that's one thing, but if he aspires to working in air conditioning, it's another thing.

He's a good kid, but I will tell you that there A LOT of things that his parents cannot teach him. Not because they aren't good people. But because they don't know how America works.

Table manners in cases like this, is just the tip of the iceberg. There are families where earning a high school diploma is a jaw-dropping achievement.

What harm is their in being a leader, who teaches kindly and kindness? To me, the choice is obvious, you teach what you can teach in a manner that doesn't offend.

[Parrot Head]

I was about to jump in with a resounding "YES!" but after reading your further explanation, I realize that one needs to consider what will be taught. It's like sex ed - 95% of people agree it should be taught, but it's a matter of what the teacher sees as "correct sex ed."


You say he's Hispanic and since he's in Dallas, I might assume he's Mexican. If he's used to eating with tortillas at every most meals, he has a proper food item to "mop up" with. Just wait until you go with the banana over the tortilla and that'll throw you off.

I still will vote yes, but with a little more caution as to what you might be teaching him. Definitely go with the " clipping toe nails" at dinner (or any other meal) and other niceties, but make sure you aren't stepping all over cultural norms that you aren't familiar with. And it may come up that, "Well, if he's eating in US places...." but you can still make sure kids have proper bases and then build upon that.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Here's the question in my mind: if I don't teach him, who will?

I'm happy to be apathetic and do nothing. But is that really in his best interest?

If he is going to end up digging ditches or laying tile, that's one thing, but if he aspires to working in air conditioning, it's another thing.

He's a good kid, but I will tell you that there A LOT of things that his parents cannot teach him. Not because they aren't good people. But because they don't know how America works.

Table manners in cases like this, is just the tip of the iceberg. There are families where earning a high school diploma is a jaw-dropping achievement.

lol...not teaching him to chew with his mouth shut is being apathetic? Um...okay.

[BigFatMeanie]

When I was a Deacon (or maybe it was when I was a teacher - can't remember for sure) we had an etiquite lesson in Deacon's Quorum. The DQA took us to his house where he had set the table with china/silver and had invited some of the Laurels over for demonstration purposes. I definitely remember that the girls were older than the boys which was probably done on purpose so that we would be intimidated and not act like silly dorks. We learned/practiced how to open doors for a lady, how to seat a lady at the table, proper table manners (where to place our napkin), etc. I guess it was kind of a do-it-yourself version of cotillion.

Considering the fact that I can't remember any other single lesson we had during my years as a YM, that Deacon's quorum lesson certainly made an impression on me.

[All-American]

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

When I was a Deacon (or maybe it was when I was a teacher - can't remember for sure) we had an etiquite lesson in Deacon's Quorum. The DQA took us to his house where he had set the table with china/silver and had invited some of the Laurels over for demonstration purposes. I definitely remember that the girls were older than the boys which was probably done on purpose so that we would be intimidated and not act like silly dorks. We learned/practiced how to open doors for a lady, how to seat a lady at the table, proper table manners (where to place our napkin), etc. I guess it was kind of a do-it-yourself version of cotillion.

Considering the fact that I can't remember any other single lesson we had during my years as a YM, that Deacon's quorum lesson certainly made an impression on me.

That's my vote. I remember an etiquette dinner activity we had with the youth of my ward quite clearly. My observation of my student singles ward suggests that many LDS young men have no idea what to do with girls whatsoever.