Do you all ever feel shortchanged by your culture's insistence on early marriage

[MikeWaters]

I hate this thing that SU supports, which is the idea that adolescense extends through the late 20s.

That idea is complete bullshit, this infantilization of society.

[il Padrino Ute]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I hate this thing that SU supports, which is the idea that adolescense extends through the late 20s.

That idea is complete bullshit, this infantilization of society.

Exactly. The reason the greatest generation is known as such is because they didn't dick around as 20 somethings. They busted their asses during and after WWII to build this country into something better than it was before their time. Then their lazy ass kids who went to school in the 60s and early 70s decided that it was more important to put themselves ahead of everything else.

[MikeWaters]

for people like SU, ages 22 through 30 after college are the time you "find yourself."

Most likely planting the seed for your later alcoholism that destroys your first and second marriages.

[Mrs. Funk]

There is definitely a startling lack of female commentary on this thread. I appreciate the commentary that has been offered so far, and I will throw in my two bits.

When I married Mpfunk, I was the stereotypical age of 21. My life has hardly been stereotypical, though. While I am still young, I am satisfied and pleased with the experiences I have had so far. I don't feel live I've "given everything up" in order to get married young. I graduated high school with my AA degree, and graduated with a BA at 19. I am have visited most areas of the country, lived in Europe for three months, and speak French. Mpfunk and I got married right before I started law school. Kids are definitely on the 5-10 year plan, though we realize that the little pink pills are only 99% effective.

I realize that my story is not necessarily the norm, but I do think it's inaccurate to say that all people in the Church who get married young (particularly women) cut themselves off from having experiences, traveling, and receiving education. I turn the ripe old age of 22 tomorrow, so I suppose there is still time for me to have regrets in the future. For the moment being, I don't foresee that being a problem.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

Yes. Lots. I had lunch with one today.

Okay, so he is 28. That is ancient in LDS culture to be unmarried. I guarantee his rabbi wasn't encouraging him to marry before he finished college.

You're grasping.

Ok, now how many Hindus do you know. Our next door neighbors, and good friends, are Hindu. Arranged, if I am not mistaken. Also married in their 20s.

So let's see....we covered the Jews and the Hindus. If you throw in Mormons, you have a pretty fair swath of the entire global population that marries young.

In South America, they get married young (if they get married at all).

What about China? What is the average age there?

Truthfully, I would actually venture that if you took a global average, we would be fairly normal in our marrying age. If anything, getting married in your 30s is the exception to the global rule.

[Detroitdad]

Originally Posted by landpoke

and child bearing? Do you ever feel as if you'd been robbed of some elemental and possibly necessary experiences because of the age at which so many of you married and had kids?

I'm not looking for a recounting of the joys of marriage and kids etc. I'm asking if you feel like you've missed something, despite all the good it's brought to your life, by marrying and procreating at a young age.

Maybe this post is in the wrong place, but given that the acts in question spring from the church to which most of you belong I suppose it makes as much sense to put it here as anywhere else.

Sometimes a little bit, but I recognize that as the most selfish part of my personality. I know I ended up withsomething much, much better, but I think it is human nature not to wonder what other turns your life might have taken.

I got married at 21, my wife 19. 11 years married.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I hate this thing that SU supports, which is the idea that adolescense extends through the late 20s.

That idea is complete bullshit, this infantilization of society.

Man is that he might have joy.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by Tex

While to say that ours is the only culture that puts an emphasis on marriage is somewhat myopic, it's true that LDS are known for families. I'm not so sure that's such a bad thing. Given the way the world has generally turned away from this cornerstone of civilization, I'm happy to say my culture hasn't.

I don't fear being alone in that pride.

I am with you on this. I am happy our culture and leaders put an emphasis on marriage and families.

I am also more comfortable with the way they are doing it now as opposed to say the 60's and 70's when people could easily assume getting married quickly, having kids quickly and no use of birth control was commandment not just counsel.

This allows those who put off marriage, having kids or use brith control to not feel like sinners even if some in there local congregations still cling to that idea.

[All-American]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

for people like SU, ages 22 through 30 after college are the time you "find yourself."

Most likely planting the seed for your later alcoholism that destroys your first and second marriages.

Now THAT's taking it a little too far.

[SeattleUte]

Actually, I'm protecting the women, the biggest victims. They suffer most from early marriage and youthful childbirth. If I state a concept that 28 is an ideal time to marry, or I'd rather see marriages in the 30's that pre-25, the women are the big winners. All you guys extolling early marriage and parenthood, I'd like to give your wives truth serum. That would be interesting.