Stake Conf. Topic: Sexaul Intimacy

[bluegoose]

Originally Posted by Archaea

By arguing for restraint, you create psychologically an imbalance, especially for sincere, devout persons who often mistakenly look to religious faith as the primary instructor of their beings. Many Mormons find their culture to completely define them and look within their culture to inform them of everything. So either leadership needs to disabuse everybody of that notion, not something I see the Church doing, or leadership needs to better its membership on these issues.

This is a big part of the problem, imo. Many people look directly to the church for guidance on things that could be easily solved looking elsewhere for advice. People that rely solely on the quarterly fireside or 5th Sunday lesson on finances would likely make much better use of their time by meeting with a credit counselor or financial advisor.

[SoCalCoug]

Originally Posted by Tex

Folks here could use some lumps on the head.

Thank you for your contribution.

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by CardiacCoug

I was always tempted but didn't have the courage to answer, "No problem at all, Bishop. I have nothing against masturbation. No problem with it at all."

I have a friend who was about fourteen when his dad noticed he was spending an awful lot of time with older girls. The girls had a bit of a reputation around town, and his dad was highly suspicious of the girls' motives. So he warned his boy:

"Son, you be careful around those older girls. I've seen them looking at you and I got a feeling they might be after more than you're ready for."

He looked at his dad and said, "Dad, they ain't had no complaints so far."

He was grounded for two weeks, though he claims that didn't slow him down at all.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by bluegoose

This is a big part of the problem, imo. Many people look directly to the church for guidance on things that could be easily solved looking elsewhere for advice. People that rely solely on the quarterly fireside or 5th Sunday lesson on finances would likely make much better use of their time by meeting with a credit counselor or financial advisor.

Absolutely. But leadership should take efforts to dissuade members from feeling and acting this way. Past statements by BY and other frontier leaders would cause one to adopt this philosophy, and many fundamentalist expressions tend to reenforce this conception.

[RC Vikings]

Would you want sexual advice from your current bishop or would you want him giving it to your wife. My bishop is a professer and I've heard that he taught some strange things in his class. If we are going to talk about sex in church they better give a couple the calling of "ward sexual what goes where and why specialist" and then give them some training.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

Would you want sexual advice from your current bishop or would you want him giving it to your wife.

Heavens no.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

Would you want sexual advice from your current bishop or would you want him giving it to your wife. My bishop is a professer and I've heard that he taught some strange things in his class. If we are going to talk about sex in church they better give a couple the calling of "ward sexual what goes where and why specialist" and then give them some training.

One of my old Bishops in Mesa during a combined R.S. & Priesthood meeting really let parents have it.

He said and I quote "When your sons and daughters are coming to me asking for sexual education and about masturbation, you as a parent have failed. It is not my job as the Bishop of the ward to provide them with their sexual education."

It was during the time where Raves were the big deal with teens and college kids as well and he railed on the prevailing "Not my Kid" attitude of the parents in the ward and that it was time for them to stand up and "Do their jobs as Mom and Dad".

He's the most blunt Bishop I've ever had. I felt like giving him a standing ovation.

[bluegoose]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

Would you want sexual advice from your current bishop or would you want him giving it to your wife. If we are going to talk about sex in church they better give a couple the calling of "ward sexual what goes where and why specialist" and then give them some training.

My point exactly.

The only sexual advice I got from clergy prior to getting married was "Go to the temple on Friday night, take your wife out to eat at the temple cafeteria afterward (He recommended the Jordan River temple), and then go home for some special time together." That was way more than I needed to hear three weeks before I got married from someone 50 years older than me. I'm glad he stopped with only that much information.

One of my wife's former roommates recommended the book "The Act of Marriage" to us. It was far more helpful than anything any Bishop or SP could have told me. The only bad thing was it wasn't written by a member of the church (Gasp!).

[RedHeadGal]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Very succinct. Stop being just negative, maybe a sex toy party? Nah, would never happen.

They recently passed out a survey in my RS, asking for topics for their non-Sunday meetings. I was just thinking maybe I should suggest a sex toy party. And I'm not even kidding. Of course, they would never do it, but it would get the RS leadership talking about the topic. Maybe.

[SoCalCoug]

Originally Posted by bluegoose

This is a big part of the problem, imo. Many people look directly to the church for guidance on things that could be easily solved looking elsewhere for advice. People that rely solely on the quarterly fireside or 5th Sunday lesson on finances would likely make much better use of their time by meeting with a credit counselor or financial advisor.

And the church is fostering that outlook by offering guidance to church members on sexual issues. Yes, it might be better to look elsewhere for guidance, but what do you do when that outside guidance conflicts with things that the church or church leaders have said in the past (e.g., statements about birth control, letter from the first presidency re oral sex, repeated proscriptions against masturbation)?

It's not so much that the church members are sitting back and waiting for guidance, as it is that the church has been so forthcoming with that guidance in the past. Can they really be faulted for doing so?