What do you do when the cleaning lady doesn't act professional? - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Robin · 08-09-2006, 12:20 AM

The other day I dropped the bomb on my cleaning lady... okay I didn't exactly drop it ON her. Here is what went down.

I work for a sculptor in his studio. Once a week a cleaning lady comes and tidies up the place. I never know when she is coming.

On the day in question, something wicked was brewing in my gut. The churn was causing my belly to visibly swell. The pressure was ridiculous, but the problem is this... the stupid sculptor put the bathroom RIGHT NEXT TO THE STUDIO. So I knew if I let this one rip, while the sculptor was still in the studio, I would put on a show that would go down in history. So I just held it and watched my belly swell up to the point I was starting to look six months. Then the sculptor went out to check on something, and I thought "Here is my chance!"

I went into the tiny bathroom, and the entire event lasted about two seconds. I had given birth.

So, I'm back at my computer, and all of the doors and windows are open, but the evidence is there for anyone with nostrils, and I am just hoping that the sculptor dude won't come back...

...ENTER CLEANING LADY.

She starts with the bathroom, and like I said, it is right next to the studio. So I am sitting there thinking, 'why doesn't she just wait and clean it a bit later?' Next thing I hear... gagging. GAGGING sounds coming out of the bathroom. Then panting followed by gagging followed by 'dios mio!' She said 'Dios mio!' loud enough for me to hear, and the gagging was just over the top.

Now I'm not going to pretend like I didn't put her into a compromising position, but IMO she just didn't act very professional. So what should I do? I'm thinking of telling the sculptor and having her 'shit canned.' Okay, I'm not really thinking of doing that. That would be really assholish, but for heavens sake, next time I hope she acts more professional!

Robin · 08-09-2006, 12:20 AM

Oops. This was supposed to be posted under 'chit chat.' Feel free to change, dear mods, if you get the chance.

il Padrino Ute · 08-09-2006, 12:38 AM

Great story. LOL!

Colly Wolly · 08-09-2006, 12:59 AM

Discharge....check.

Nasty dookie....check.

Robin · 08-09-2006, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stick It In Him

Discharge....check.

Nasty dookie....check.

What is missing? I'm sure I have some stories for the check list. Give me full list and I will see if I can help you out.

Colly Wolly · 08-09-2006, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robin

What is missing? I'm sure I have some stories for the check list. Give me full list and I will see if I can help you out.

Well lets see here, I am sure you have posted something about masturbation as well, so we could add that to the list.

Anything to do with vomit? Those are just a couple ideas...

Anything to do with pubic hair or toe jam?

Robin · 08-09-2006, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stick It In Him

Well lets see here, I am sure you have posted something about masturbation as well, so we could add that to the list.

Anything to do with vomit? Those are just a couple ideas...

Anything to do with pubic hair or toe jam?

Vomit? Pubic hair? I'm sure I have something. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.

Colly Wolly · 08-09-2006, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robin

Vomit? Pubic hair? I'm sure I have something. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.

Atta boy!

08-09-2006, 12:20 AM	#1
Robin Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 961	What do you do when the cleaning lady doesn't act professional? The other day I dropped the bomb on my cleaning lady... okay I didn't exactly drop it ON her. Here is what went down. I work for a sculptor in his studio. Once a week a cleaning lady comes and tidies up the place. I never know when she is coming. On the day in question, something wicked was brewing in my gut. The churn was causing my belly to visibly swell. The pressure was ridiculous, but the problem is this... the stupid sculptor put the bathroom RIGHT NEXT TO THE STUDIO. So I knew if I let this one rip, while the sculptor was still in the studio, I would put on a show that would go down in history. So I just held it and watched my belly swell up to the point I was starting to look six months. Then the sculptor went out to check on something, and I thought "Here is my chance!" I went into the tiny bathroom, and the entire event lasted about two seconds. I had given birth. So, I'm back at my computer, and all of the doors and windows are open, but the evidence is there for anyone with nostrils, and I am just hoping that the sculptor dude won't come back... ...ENTER CLEANING LADY. She starts with the bathroom, and like I said, it is right next to the studio. So I am sitting there thinking, 'why doesn't she just wait and clean it a bit later?' Next thing I hear... gagging. GAGGING sounds coming out of the bathroom. Then panting followed by gagging followed by 'dios mio!' She said 'Dios mio!' loud enough for me to hear, and the gagging was just over the top. Now I'm not going to pretend like I didn't put her into a compromising position, but IMO she just didn't act very professional. So what should I do? I'm thinking of telling the sculptor and having her 'shit canned.' Okay, I'm not really thinking of doing that. That would be really assholish, but for heavens sake, next time I hope she acts more professional!

08-09-2006, 12:38 AM	#3
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	Great story. LOL! __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

08-09-2006, 12:59 AM	#4
Colly Wolly Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,281	Discharge....check. Nasty dookie....check.