Why people go inactive

[mpfunk]

Originally Posted by Archaea

mp date your avatar, she's winking and she's LDS.

Certainly I would enjoy dating the girl in my avatar. Sadly I'm sure she is like all other women and gets the I can't out of the way early as an answer to me asking her out.

[All-American]

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

so someone in my close immediate family is very very inactive in the church, i wouldnt say they are anti but just inactive so i asked there reasoning behind it and this is what i was told:

"every time i go to church, start paying my tithing, go to priesthood and do the things I am supposed to do, something bad happens to either me or my family, the last three times i have gone back to church me either me or my wife have lost our jobs, got sick, or been stricken with some sort of grief or illness"

So i kept talking ot him about some other things. Here are a few examples:

"we moved out to Utah from California i had a good job out here as did my wife we were trying to make a better life for our kids, the day we get here we are moving in to our house I slip on the sidewalk and break my leg, i had to have surgery and have pins placed in my leg and was unable to walk for a year, which means i was unable to work. We lost our house due to a lack of income and moved to a smaller house, and lose our car in the process"

So he said they become active in the church again after moving to this smaller house and starting over, he gets a good job, his wife finds a good job and they are back on there feet and get another new house, after about 6 months they are becoming very active in the church again full tithes payers doing all the things they should, when he is told he has congestive heart failure. He has medical bills that pile up to well over 50k and out of the blue is fired because his boss said, due to his heart problems, he is worried he wont be able to attend work everyday. Since Utah is a right to work state there is nothing he can do about being fired. So once again the cycle starts over. His kids now at this point both have full time jobs while still in highschool trying to support the family. He goes to the doctor and the doctor says do to his heart he can not work and to apply for social security, this man is 44 years old. So this time they can not afford anything more than an apartment in a pretty bad part of town. There kids are 16 and 18 boy and girl and end up sharing a room. Both working full time to support there family. Mom is working two jobs as well.

Finally the father starts to get better, he applies for social security after 18 months gets it, his wife goes back to school at nights and gets he degree, they start going to church, paying there tithing, they receive callings there kids are both moved out and going to college. When the father has a heart attack, this causes lots of stress on the family and mom has a nervous breakdown ending up in the hospital, the kids come home from school to help take care of the family.

Once again after about 3 years things are looking up again, Dad is healthy no signs of heart ailments and mom has a very very good job making close to 6 figures, the problem is Dad is very very scared and wont attend church fearing that something might happen. What do you tell someone in a situation like this? How can they restore there faith?

Also just so you know this is the story of my family.

If they would just STAY active, bad stuff wouldn't happen after trying to get active again. Seems pretty simple to me.

[Surfah]

In my immediate family we are all active members of the church. Outside my siblings and parents however the activity is very little. I have a grandfather who has been excommunicated twice and an uncle who also has been excommunicated. A few others have had various degrees of church discipline and of those only one is active and has had his priesthood blessings restored.

I have tried to talk to my family on occasion, and what I have told them is that no matter the reasoning for their inactivity, that does not change the fact that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ and that the Book of Mormon is the word of God(although there seems to be some debate about the veracity of these two statements, but I hold them to be true). Look I'm sorry that you've been offended by sister so-and-so and she still hasn't apologized, but that doesn't change the principles of salvation contained in the gospel, etc. It varies with each circumstance but you get the idea.

BTW, it hasn't worked but at least my uncle agreed with me and shared with me his testimony which was surprisingly powerful for someone who has been away from the church for 20+ years.

[RockyBalboa]

I've had a number of personal trials in the past 12 months that have tested and are testing my faith and made me question some things.

I could list a lot of them in detail, but I'll refrain from doing so because I just don't feel it would appropriate in such a public forum.

Suffice it to say, that I found out that challenging the Lord and shaking our fist at the Almighty when things don't go our way,,,,,even when we think we're doing what He's asking of us... does nothing but serve to plant seeds of anger, bitterness and ultimately dis-content...and that is the very path which the Adversary wants us to go down. The lower we get the more he loves it.

I haven't gone inactive in the church, but there are times where I've felt out of place and not sure where I belonged. Being a 30+ LDS Single guy,,,,I don't feel comfortable in my family ward and the 31-45 Singles Ward is one giant freak show of bitterness where Triumph The Insult Comic Dog could have a field day.

I'm now working harder on what I perceive as MY weaknesses. I made the mistake of fearing Man more than God and through constant prayer, deep reflection and being kind to others...only then am I learning what I'm having to learn...even if it sometimes still gets me upset.

Not sure if that made sense, but I hope it helps.

[SteelBlue]

Originally Posted by RockyBalboa

...and the 31-45 Singles Ward is one giant freak show of bitterness where Triumph The Insult Comic Dog could have a field day.

This was the funniest sentence I read all day. "Freak show of bitterness" that would be a great name for a band.

[realtall]

I have to agree with mpfunk & SteelBlue on this one. It is extremely likely that all of these things would have happened even if they had not been going to the church at the time. I don't think that the Lord suddenly gave the father congestive heart failure because the family started going back to church(although I don't pretent to know the mind of God, either). It almost sounds superstitious to me, to be honest. Kind of like, 'The big sale is never going on when I go to the store so I'll just send my sister to check things out from now on.'

Now, before anyone starts screaming at me, I do believe that the Lord tests people sometimes. Then again, sometimes things happen in the normal course of living our lives. Sometimes SEVERAL bad things happen in a short period of time. Its easy to blame them on wickedness or trials sent by the Lord but the truth is that sometimes life is just out of our control. Yeah, I know, its easy for me to say these things because its not happening to me but nevertheless that's how I feel it often is.

[SteelBlue]

Originally Posted by realtall

Now, before anyone starts screaming at me, I do believe that the Lord tests people sometimes. Then again, sometimes things happen in the normal course of living our lives. Sometimes SEVERAL bad things happen in a short period of time. Its easy to blame them on wickedness or trials sent by the Lord but the truth is that sometimes life is just out of our control. Yeah, I know, its easy for me to say these things because its not happening to me but nevertheless that's how I feel it often is.

I agree, and in my opinion that is how we are tested here. It's a cold, cruel world sometimes because we are mortals. We have to live with not only our own decisions, but the decisions of others affect us as well. Throw in health problems and natural disasters, accidents etc... and you've got all the tests anyone would need over a lifespan.

[ute4ever]

A few nights ago I watched a documentary about the 12/04 tsunami, on the discovery channel. They interviewed a young Sumateran boy, who told of his experience. As the waters were rushing in and people's families and homes were being swept away, he said he felt it was the judgement of God cleansing the land.

Perhaps when misfortune and tragedies strike, the fear/blame of God is a uniform feeling that all cultures unite on.

[Indy Coug]

Originally Posted by ute4ever

A few nights ago I watched a documentary about the 12/04 tsunami, on the discovery channel. They interviewed a young Sumateran boy, who told of his experience. As the waters were rushing in and people's families and homes were being swept away, he said he felt it was the judgement of God cleansing the land.

Perhaps when misfortune and tragedies strike, the fear/blame of God is a uniform feeling that all cultures unite on.

Given how many times the Bible and Book of Mormon explicitly (like the Book of Mormon quoting Jesus Christ talking to the Nephites/Lamanites after the 3 days of darkness) attribute destruction to man's wickedness....

[outlier]

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

Dad is very very scared and wont attend church fearing that something might happen. What do you tell someone in a situation like this? How can they restore there faith?

FWIW, there are people who are *active* for the very same reason. They're treating faith like superstition.

Good things happen: there is a God. Bad things happen: there isn't. Good things happen: they would have happened anyway. Bad things happen: God must be testing me. It's all the same and, IMHO, it's all wrong; it seems like most things happen or don't due to statistical probability. Statistical probability is part of the laws of nature, stuff that God doesn't transgress too often anyway. Assigning meaning after the fact doesn't mean there was any meaning there to begin with.

Pioneering deist Mormonism,

o