I worry for my daughter

[Solon]

She's got some time before she'd be the right age, but I'm not so sure I want her hearing some of the lessons written for LDS young women.

Compare, for instance, these two lessons on marriage.

This one, directed towards Young Men, talks about choosing an Eternal Companion. (active voice, implies agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

The most comparable YW lesson is entitled Preparing to become an eternal companion. (passive voice, limited agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

There are lots of interesting comparisons to be made. I offer just a couple of points:

For the males, one of the things they can do to become a good marriage partner is, "Becoming educated or trained in order to be a good provider."

For the females, it's almost all about homemaking. There are a couple of allusions to higher education, but the allusions encourage females to gain knowledge, training, and skills that will help them with mothering and homemaking. Even the introductory story about the girl who comes home to spend Christmas vacation fails to say "she was at college."

There's nothing wrong with being a good homemaker or having child psychology skills (I wish I had them). There is something wrong with not encouraging our young women to seek educational and professional fulfillment, should they so desire.

I know there are quotes aplenty, especially from Golden Boy Hinckley about women getting educations - and I applaud them - but as long as this type of bias permeates the instruction manuals (which many say are next to scripture in import and inspiration) I'm going to be leery.

My friends with girls this age say they often come home from church and "undo" what's been taught, using the opportunity to teach the girls to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear. Great, but that's a silver lining in a really dark cloud (IMO).

Those of you with daughters, is this an issue? How have you dealt with it?

[This is my 1,000th post. Hooray for me.]

[Archaea]

Teach her otherwise and she'll overcome those biases. No need to worry, except if you teach her those preferences she may resent the cultural preferences.

[Spaz]

Originally Posted by Solon

She's got some time before she'd be the right age, but I'm not so sure I want her hearing some of the lessons written for LDS young women.

Compare, for instance, these two lessons on marriage.

This one, directed towards Young Men, talks about choosing an Eternal Companion. (active voice, implies agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

The most comparable YW lesson is entitled Preparing to become an eternal companion. (passive voice, limited agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

There are lots of interesting comparisons to be made. I offer just a couple of points:

For the males, one of the things they can do to become a good marriage partner is, "Becoming educated or trained in order to be a good provider."

For the females, it's almost all about homemaking. There are a couple of allusions to higher education, but the allusions encourage females to gain knowledge, training, and skills that will help them with mothering and homemaking. Even the introductory story about the girl who comes home to spend Christmas vacation fails to say "she was at college."

There's nothing wrong with being a good homemaker or having child psychology skills (I wish I had them). There is something wrong with not encouraging our young women to seek educational and professional fulfillment, should they so desire.

I know there are quotes aplenty, especially from Golden Boy Hinckley about women getting educations - and I applaud them - but as long as this type of bias permeates the instruction manuals (which many say are next to scripture in import and inspiration) I'm going to be leery.

My friends with girls this age say they often come home from church and "undo" what's been taught, using the opportunity to teach the girls to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear. Great, but that's a silver lining in a really dark cloud (IMO).

Those of you with daughters, is this an issue? How have you dealt with it?

[This is my 1,000th post. Hooray for me.]

My first kid (girl) is only 6 months old, so I can't completely relate.

However, I'm personally pretty laid back, so I'd probably laugh about it, and tell my daughter that I personally feel an education is important, and I expect her to go to school.

If she decides to get married and become a homemaker, and not finish school, I'll support her.

[Tex]

Maybe the lesson manuals have yet to catch up to the present-day teachings. I'm not sure anything moves slower in the church than curricula.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by Solon

She's got some time before she'd be the right age, but I'm not so sure I want her hearing some of the lessons written for LDS young women.

Compare, for instance, these two lessons on marriage.

This one, directed towards Young Men, talks about choosing an Eternal Companion. (active voice, implies agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

The most comparable YW lesson is entitled Preparing to become an eternal companion. (passive voice, limited agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

There are lots of interesting comparisons to be made. I offer just a couple of points:

For the males, one of the things they can do to become a good marriage partner is, "Becoming educated or trained in order to be a good provider."

For the females, it's almost all about homemaking. There are a couple of allusions to higher education, but the allusions encourage females to gain knowledge, training, and skills that will help them with mothering and homemaking. Even the introductory story about the girl who comes home to spend Christmas vacation fails to say "she was at college."

There's nothing wrong with being a good homemaker or having child psychology skills (I wish I had them). There is something wrong with not encouraging our young women to seek educational and professional fulfillment, should they so desire.

I know there are quotes aplenty, especially from Golden Boy Hinckley about women getting educations - and I applaud them - but as long as this type of bias permeates the instruction manuals (which many say are next to scripture in import and inspiration) I'm going to be leery.

My friends with girls this age say they often come home from church and "undo" what's been taught, using the opportunity to teach the girls to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear. Great, but that's a silver lining in a really dark cloud (IMO).

Those of you with daughters, is this an issue? How have you dealt with it?

[This is my 1,000th post. Hooray for me.]

My guess is these lessons have great value as generalities. I imagine some parents can take the lessons in a fundamentalist way and adhere to every word. My guess is other parents can use them as a general guideline and adjust them to fit their children.

I have on more than one occasion had a child tell me something their Bishop has said and the child questioned. I have told the child the decision is up to them, not the Bishop. They should weigh his counsel, but the final decision is their's because the Bishop is speaking in generalitites. There are probably others who would counsel their kids to follow exactly what the Bishop said.

[Solon]

Originally Posted by Tex

I'm not sure anything moves slower in the church than curricula.

Except the clock during High Council talks in Sacrament meeting.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by Spaz

My first kid (girl) is only 6 months old, so I can't completely relate.

However, I'm personally pretty laid back, so I'd probably laugh about it, and tell my daughter that I personally feel an education is important, and I expect her to go to school.

If she decides to get married and become a homemaker, and not finish school, I'll support her.

I should add, I was raised in a family with parents who came of age during the long period of very little emphasis on education for women. My mother still compares how often they were told to not wait for children back then, vs. how often they say it today.

Yet, we were all taught that getting an education was important, and all of my sisters got degrees, a couple of them getting married while in school.

[Sleeping in EQ]

My home is the primary place for instruction of this sort. Church is secondary, and this has been reality for my son from day one.

I'm hoping this will help.

[pelagius]

Actually, here is the lesson that should worry you:

PREPARATION

1. Prepare for each young woman a copy of the handout at the end of this lesson.

2. Plan the introductory demonstration with the class president. This will require a blindfold, gag, cotton, and rope. Have the class president be prepared to express her feelings about the introductory experience at the conclusion of the lesson.

...

At the beginning of the class, have the class president seated in the front of the room with a blindfold around her eyes, cotton in her ears, a gag across her mouth, and her hands and feet tied. Without any reference to her plight, begin the class by announcing some things you would like the class members to do. For example: “We have an important lesson. In order for you to learn it, I want all of you to line up your chairs in perfect rows. Mary, move into the chair next to Jane. Susan, sit alone in the back row. Everyone sit up straight in your chair with both feet on the floor. Be absolutely quiet.” Do not respond to any comments by class members. Continue to order them into place. Give the class no choice in their activities, and do not listen to or respond to any comments they make.

After this short demonstration, say, “I have the feeling that you don’t like the way I’m leading the class, so I’ll just turn the class over to the class president.”

She will be unable to do anything since she is bound and gagged. She might try to make sounds or motions, but the futility of her actions will soon become apparent. Remove the gag and other things from the class president.

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vg...____&hideNav=1

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by Solon

She's got some time before she'd be the right age, but I'm not so sure I want her hearing some of the lessons written for LDS young women.

Compare, for instance, these two lessons on marriage.

This one, directed towards Young Men, talks about choosing an Eternal Companion. (active voice, implies agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

The most comparable YW lesson is entitled Preparing to become an eternal companion. (passive voice, limited agency)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.js...ontentLocale=0

There are lots of interesting comparisons to be made. I offer just a couple of points:

For the males, one of the things they can do to become a good marriage partner is, "Becoming educated or trained in order to be a good provider."

For the females, it's almost all about homemaking. There are a couple of allusions to higher education, but the allusions encourage females to gain knowledge, training, and skills that will help them with mothering and homemaking. Even the introductory story about the girl who comes home to spend Christmas vacation fails to say "she was at college."

There's nothing wrong with being a good homemaker or having child psychology skills (I wish I had them). There is something wrong with not encouraging our young women to seek educational and professional fulfillment, should they so desire.

I know there are quotes aplenty, especially from Golden Boy Hinckley about women getting educations - and I applaud them - but as long as this type of bias permeates the instruction manuals (which many say are next to scripture in import and inspiration) I'm going to be leery.

My friends with girls this age say they often come home from church and "undo" what's been taught, using the opportunity to teach the girls to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear. Great, but that's a silver lining in a really dark cloud (IMO).

Those of you with daughters, is this an issue? How have you dealt with it?

[This is my 1,000th post. Hooray for me.]

Knowing you I just don't see a problem. You will probably be raising another juanita brooks and it wont matter what the lesson manuals say. If not at least your mother will be happy