Would love to have the kids discussion over here.... - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

The_Tick · 12-02-2005, 07:07 PM

I am getting beaten up by the mullahs over on CB.

Who knew I was such an apostate radical.....

tooblue · 12-02-2005, 07:40 PM

I’m sorry but I have to disagree with your thinking on children –although it’s not so much that I disagree but rather I would encourage you to carefully consider the rational behind your thinking. I feel strongly that every couple has to prayerfully consider how many children is right for them and that it is perfectly possible that one or two is the right number.

I do believe however that if a couple could have more children and choose not to in favor of temporal considerations they will be under condemnation from the Lord for not having had more children. Call me a Mullah, so be it, I know that my thoughts on the matter are consistent with the brethren. And no, this is not meant as condemnation, I do not know you nor have I walked a day in your shoes … three children might be the right number for you and your wife.

SteelBlue · 12-02-2005, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooblue

I do believe however that if a couple could have more children and choose not to in favor of temporal considerations they will be under condemnation from the Lord for not having had more children.

How far would you take that though blue? There are a lot of couples out there capapble of kicking out 10 children, perhaps more. At what point do temporal considerations kick in? At what point might it become unfair to the parents (especially mother) and to the children? I agree with you that it is a personal decision between a couple and the Lord. But, I think it would be easy for somebody to read your counsel and surmise that you believe that as long as a woman can get pregnant, she should.

tooblue · 12-02-2005, 08:10 PM

IMO It comes down to soul searching and examining life's priorities. At this very moment my wife and I are wrestling with this very issue. We have four boys and wonder whether we should have one more. The last pregancy was very hard on my wife's body. Our oldest is nearly 12 and we have never been busier hustling here and there. I make a good living but not great. We live in a nice home and certainly have the room. It's a much more difficult decision than I ever imagined. At some point we will have our answer, and I am certian temporal issues will be the least relevant of all the issues considered.

That's where I draw the line, at the extent to which one has searched his & her soul for the answer. Prequalifying the soul-search with temporal requisites is a detriment and perhaps suggests one has already made the decision outside of spiritual channels ... therefore what good are the spiritaul channels and why even bother going through the motions?

I am not saying that is what Tick has done, I am merely admonsihing all persons to put faith in the Lord and testify he will prompt each person to act in accordance with what is best for him and his family.

tooblue · 12-02-2005, 08:18 PM

I would also like to note that I do not think birth into this world under ANY circumstances is unfair ... the reality is this life is a consequence of a choice each of us made in the counsel in heaven. Mortal existence is essential to eternal progession, no spirit child of a father in heaven who seeks exhaltation can bypass the requirement of mortal birth -even the saviour required a mortal birth.

RockyBalboa · 12-02-2005, 08:23 PM

I completely agree with you Tick.

I don't think it's anyone's business to tell you how many children too have.

Having kids comes down to personal feeling and revelation between husband and wife and for some member to tell other members that deciding not to have more children because of financial, spiritual, and attention concerns is another by product of the culture.

I grew up in a family of 8 children. All of us are grown up. I'm the only one of 8 that doesn't have a spouse or children and though I love kids, no way in hades will I plan on having more than 4 kids.

Ultimately I realize that it's really in the Lords hands and if and my future spouse receive future revelation that is not to be, then so be it.

tooblue · 12-02-2005, 08:25 PM

on the personal note made in my earlier post I feel I have to clarify ... My wife and I have already put aside the temporal issues -they are now irrellevant. We both feel that we have yet to receive the confirmation that we are responsible for one or more little souls joing this world. I am not certain when that confirmation will come but I am certain it will arrive at exactly the moment when we are both prepared to receive it.

The_Tick · 12-02-2005, 09:44 PM

Maybe it is a lack of faith, maybe it is a chink in my armor....

We currently have 2 children (as stated earlier on CB), and are trying for a 3rd.

Did the Lord tell me we needed another one? Nope. Wife got a prompting while she was at the Temple. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. Went to the Temple over it....nothing.

I personally feel that that Lord doesn't care if I have 2 or 10. I think it is all about doing what you can for the ones you have.

Just because I haven't recieved a prompting for the 3rd doesn't mean we wont have it. We have been trying for a couple of months now. I just haven't been prompted.

I have worked with kids my whole life. Primary, YM, Seminary, relatives...blah blah blah. I love children.

I would have 10, but I don't want 10. The thought of 3 makes me happy. The thought of more than that makes me ill. I don't think the Lord is going to hold me accountable to not having 10 kids. I think at some point he is going to want me to be happy.

I have 7 neices and nephews. I am the favorite uncle of all of them, because I am pretty involved in all of their lives. I am the "sports" and "fun" uncle. And I enjoy being around all of them. I just don't want all of them.

But the whole comment "Well, that is going to be between you and the Lord" is so BS, because the person that is telling you that has already made up their mind and their way of letting you know that they disagree with your decision is through that vailed comment.

Life is just a test. No one scores a perfect 10. So, if I end up with a 7, but could have scored an 8 if I had more kids. I will be okay with the 7.

I know... "Between me and the Lord"....

(Not pointed at any one person. I have just had a busy boardmail day from folks letting me know I am in thier prayers) I have their answer in my pants!

The_Tick · 12-02-2005, 09:53 PM

Just so we know what type of LDS I am....

I personally feel that these things are okay.....

Wife working

Kids in daycare

Watching TV on Sunday

Playing catch or kicking a soccerball with my daughters on Sunday (And I make sure I do it in the front yard because it pisses a member of my bishopric off. He brings it up quite often.)

Julia Roberts movies

Booing a referee

Playing for money while golfing (Because a quarter a whole isn't going to kill anyone)

Owing a gun

Shooting that gun

Shooting animals with that gun

Disagreeing with a member of the bishopric

Telling someone in EQ they are full of it

I will start another one with things I don't think are okay....

fusnik11 · 12-02-2005, 09:54 PM

why is it anyones business how many kids a couple has?

its another one of those super grey areas of the church that has a very generic command...

it doesnt tell you how many, when, or how you come in possession...

ive always had a question about the people who cant have kids. do the mullahs think they were in someone disobedient in the pre-life and therefore have not been blessed with the opportunity here?

12-02-2005, 07:07 PM	#1
The_Tick Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 626	Would love to have the kids discussion over here.... I am getting beaten up by the mullahs over on CB. Who knew I was such an apostate radical..... __________________ Spooooooon

12-02-2005, 09:44 PM	#8
The_Tick Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 626	Here is what I don't get.... Maybe it is a lack of faith, maybe it is a chink in my armor.... We currently have 2 children (as stated earlier on CB), and are trying for a 3rd. Did the Lord tell me we needed another one? Nope. Wife got a prompting while she was at the Temple. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. Went to the Temple over it....nothing. I personally feel that that Lord doesn't care if I have 2 or 10. I think it is all about doing what you can for the ones you have. Just because I haven't recieved a prompting for the 3rd doesn't mean we wont have it. We have been trying for a couple of months now. I just haven't been prompted. I have worked with kids my whole life. Primary, YM, Seminary, relatives...blah blah blah. I love children. I would have 10, but I don't want 10. The thought of 3 makes me happy. The thought of more than that makes me ill. I don't think the Lord is going to hold me accountable to not having 10 kids. I think at some point he is going to want me to be happy. I have 7 neices and nephews. I am the favorite uncle of all of them, because I am pretty involved in all of their lives. I am the "sports" and "fun" uncle. And I enjoy being around all of them. I just don't want all of them. But the whole comment "Well, that is going to be between you and the Lord" is so BS, because the person that is telling you that has already made up their mind and their way of letting you know that they disagree with your decision is through that vailed comment. Life is just a test. No one scores a perfect 10. So, if I end up with a 7, but could have scored an 8 if I had more kids. I will be okay with the 7. I know... "Between me and the Lord".... (Not pointed at any one person. I have just had a busy boardmail day from folks letting me know I am in thier prayers) I have their answer in my pants! __________________ Spooooooon

12-02-2005, 09:53 PM	#9
The_Tick Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 626	Also.... Just so we know what type of LDS I am.... I personally feel that these things are okay..... Wife working Kids in daycare Watching TV on Sunday Playing catch or kicking a soccerball with my daughters on Sunday (And I make sure I do it in the front yard because it pisses a member of my bishopric off. He brings it up quite often.) Julia Roberts movies Booing a referee Playing for money while golfing (Because a quarter a whole isn't going to kill anyone) Owing a gun Shooting that gun Shooting animals with that gun Disagreeing with a member of the bishopric Telling someone in EQ they are full of it I will start another one with things I don't think are okay.... __________________ Spooooooon

12-02-2005, 09:54 PM	#10
fusnik11 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,506	... why is it anyones business how many kids a couple has? its another one of those super grey areas of the church that has a very generic command... it doesnt tell you how many, when, or how you come in possession... ive always had a question about the people who cant have kids. do the mullahs think they were in someone disobedient in the pre-life and therefore have not been blessed with the opportunity here?

12-02-2005, 07:40 PM	#2
tooblue Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,016	I’m sorry but I have to disagree with your thinking on children –although it’s not so much that I disagree but rather I would encourage you to carefully consider the rational behind your thinking. I feel strongly that every couple has to prayerfully consider how many children is right for them and that it is perfectly possible that one or two is the right number. I do believe however that if a couple could have more children and choose not to in favor of temporal considerations they will be under condemnation from the Lord for not having had more children. Call me a Mullah, so be it, I know that my thoughts on the matter are consistent with the brethren. And no, this is not meant as condemnation, I do not know you nor have I walked a day in your shoes … three children might be the right number for you and your wife.

12-02-2005, 08:10 PM	#4
tooblue Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,016	IMO It comes down to soul searching and examining life's priorities. At this very moment my wife and I are wrestling with this very issue. We have four boys and wonder whether we should have one more. The last pregancy was very hard on my wife's body. Our oldest is nearly 12 and we have never been busier hustling here and there. I make a good living but not great. We live in a nice home and certainly have the room. It's a much more difficult decision than I ever imagined. At some point we will have our answer, and I am certian temporal issues will be the least relevant of all the issues considered. That's where I draw the line, at the extent to which one has searched his & her soul for the answer. Prequalifying the soul-search with temporal requisites is a detriment and perhaps suggests one has already made the decision outside of spiritual channels ... therefore what good are the spiritaul channels and why even bother going through the motions? I am not saying that is what Tick has done, I am merely admonsihing all persons to put faith in the Lord and testify he will prompt each person to act in accordance with what is best for him and his family.

12-02-2005, 08:18 PM	#5
tooblue Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,016	I would also like to note that I do not think birth into this world under ANY circumstances is unfair ... the reality is this life is a consequence of a choice each of us made in the counsel in heaven. Mortal existence is essential to eternal progession, no spirit child of a father in heaven who seeks exhaltation can bypass the requirement of mortal birth -even the saviour required a mortal birth.

12-02-2005, 08:23 PM	#6
RockyBalboa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 7,297	I completely agree with you Tick. I don't think it's anyone's business to tell you how many children too have. Having kids comes down to personal feeling and revelation between husband and wife and for some member to tell other members that deciding not to have more children because of financial, spiritual, and attention concerns is another by product of the culture. I grew up in a family of 8 children. All of us are grown up. I'm the only one of 8 that doesn't have a spouse or children and though I love kids, no way in hades will I plan on having more than 4 kids. Ultimately I realize that it's really in the Lords hands and if and my future spouse receive future revelation that is not to be, then so be it.

12-02-2005, 08:25 PM	#7
tooblue Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,016	on the personal note made in my earlier post I feel I have to clarify ... My wife and I have already put aside the temporal issues -they are now irrellevant. We both feel that we have yet to receive the confirmation that we are responsible for one or more little souls joing this world. I am not certain when that confirmation will come but I am certain it will arrive at exactly the moment when we are both prepared to receive it.